Reality

I have always been a loyal heart. Even to those who openly betrayed me. I have never once acted in revenge or attempted to take something that wasn’t mine in the 49 years I have been on this earth. I say this to lay a foundation for the truth I am going to expose in this piece about America and the modern world. I am not writing this as a critic. Or as a cry for justice. I am not a victim and feel no ill will toward anyone in my past or present. I view this piece as more of an observation from an unbiased source who has lived life honestly and with integrity.

Since my days of youth, I have searched for souls I could cavort with in honesty and truth. I held no bias or litmus test related to race, gender, wealth, beauty, or intelligence throughout this search. I simply wanted to find loyalty and truth in another human being. My parents were the first to fail to recompense me for the loyalty and truth I provided them. I am the oldest of eight children, and all my siblings failed to meet me with the loyalty and truth I lived in. So I went outside of my family and couldn’t find a single person in my community, church group, or school who was willing to share even an ounce of loyalty or truth with me. Every single person placed wealth or status above truth and loyalty.

Later in my professional life, I not only failed to find any loyalty or truth within a single person, but I discovered betrayal and backstabbing. It was an endless fountain of duplicity and conniving plots and schemes I was forced to live through. Once again, wealth and status were the main drivers behind most people I engaged with. Though I could have become jaded, I kept a childlike curiosity and love for life. I refused to allow my heart to be hardened because I knew the value of potentially meeting even one person of integrity who lived a loyal and truthful life.

I turned to my love life and searched for a loyal and truthful partner. I eventually married a woman I had known since we were twelve years old. I truly believed the foundation I had laid with her as a friend for many years would allow her to be open to a lasting relationship of love and loyalty based in truth. I was wrong. She betrayed me and then turned around and did everything to destroy me after a bitter divorce. She used my children as pawns in her war against me. Others joined her in what could best be called gang stalking to dismember me in every way: physically, financially, and spiritually. Still, I stayed the course and poured love into my children. I held on for dear life for years under an endless barrage of attacks. My community turned on me; co-workers and future lovers all joined my ex-wife’s crusade to destroy my name and future.

As I moved on from this, I carried a stigma. It was as if I was marked with a scarlet letter on my forehead. It was as if I was being punished for being alive. For being a loyal heart. For never allowing my heart to grow cold. Never giving up on living a life based in truth and honesty. I came to learn that, in America, honesty and truth are worse than poverty. Being a loyal heart, a person who could be trusted, and a hard worker is viewed as being a clown or a con man. The deep hatred I have received has been shocking. And it has come from every direction and in every sector of society.

I have come to realize that there are so few people who live a life based on truth and loyalty that it has become a fool’s errand trying to find even one. There are so many who portray themselves as loyal and truthful people, but they really aren’t. Maybe, on a surface level, they are, but when it comes to wealth and status, most have compromised themselves. They will never admit this. Most successful people will swear up and down they never performed sexual acts for a job or promotion. Most will never admit that they forced co-workers seeking a job or promotion to cheat on their spouse or partner to receive the said promotion or job. No successful person is going to admit that they sabotaged a competitor for no good reason other than jealousy or an inability to compete on a level playing field.

I’ve discovered through an honest and unbiased lens that the biggest lie in America is that it is a land of merit. That if you work hard and play by the rules you will be rewarded. And it’s fine for this to be a lie. The problem is that everyone is pretending as if it isn’t the biggest lie. Entire industries are based on the idea that the best of the best are recognized through hard work, honesty, and integrity. The stock market runs on this assumption. Our children are essentially brainwashed into believing this lie.

As I have said, I am not writing this as some kind of cry from a victim. I am simply an honest and unbiased participant in this game we call life. I write this not to criticize or curse America. This isn’t a piece bemoaning the ills of America. I am simply sharing the truth of what I have discovered after 49 years of honestly trying to engage with one single loyal heart other than mine. It is what it is. This isn’t a land of opportunity and wealth. It is a land of lies, duplicity, dishonesty, and corruption. On all levels and within every facet. America is a nation of poor souls forever on a circular treadmill of backstabbing, disloyalty, and loneliness. People are barely even attempting to pretend they are honest souls anymore. It really has come down to a win-at-all-costs endeavor for wealth and status.

I feel sorry for my children. I’ve raised them to be loyal hearts. To live lives of integrity based on truth and honesty. I’ve entrusted my legacy to them. But I worry for their souls. I worry that they will spend decades like me in an ocean of duplicitous people wearing masks of honesty while plotting their destruction. I worry that they, too, will be condemned to being viewed as dumb because they refuse to hurt others or seek out revenge on those who have hurt them. I’m hoping my sacrifices and teachings will help them find a true friendship based on honesty and truth. I hope that they can succeed where I failed. They already have because they have me. Though I could never and probably will never find another loyal heart, I at least know I am that for them. They will always know their father never once betrayed them in any way. That I stayed honest and loyal to them through everything life threw at us. This is why I hold no grudge against the world. Though I could never find another like me, I was able to provide my children with this gift. Which is all I really need.